I blog my life

Don't I have the right to be alone? Don't I have the right to reject? Am I your puppet or what? To be frank, right now at this very moment I just feel like giving up on this relationship. I should be happy in a relationship. Not being pathetic and let you haunt me most of the time. I deserved to be loved and be respected. All you do every time you're not happy about something I did, you just fucking ignored me and expect me to realize the mistake I did, when the truth is I don't think I did anything wrong.  Why did I reject not going to your place? Because I wanna be alone. I wanna be alone to clear my mind and most importantly, to heal myself after so much bullshits happened to me for the past few months. You think it's easy? You will never understand what I've been through and why I'm so upset about me because YOU ARE NOT ME. You're pissed because I rather lock myself up and not going to your place to accompany. You think I'm pessimistic. Yes ...

Here comes the week of the month, when nothing goes right. The week of the month when every single thing pisses you off. Thank you PMS. You make me feel like crying every single moment when I think of 'that' thing. I'm trying not to talk about it because the boyfie said you don't have to repeat what you're not happy about. So yea, I'm so not going to talk about the current issue that is bothering me so much. I shall just relax and enjoy my two weeks holiday. It doesn't make any differences right whether it is next week or the week after next week. I have came a long way, waited since last year August, one or two weeks doesn't matter to me anymore. But I never stop questioning whether equality still exists or not. Two groups of people paying the same amount of money but one of them gets extra three months to work on their requirements. People always say that everything happens for a reason and up till now I still can't see the reason. What privileges...

It seems like blogspot has became a place where I express all my dissatisfactions. Because there is no one there to listen to most of my rants Maybe there is someone, my Zhang Bao. But Zhang Bao doesn't understand sometimes. He doesn't get why I'm not happy. Anyways, back to the point. Courtesy. It means "the showing of politeness in one's attitude and behavior toward others". Politeness in attitude. Maybe you don't know that cutting off or interrupt when someone is talking is pretty rude. Maybe you're too comfortable, you thought we're close friends and therefore it's okay to be not so polite. But let me tell you, no matter how close we are or how much I don't give a single shit about how you treat me, I am your friend. Aren't you supposed to be polite to your friends? Okay, let's just make it simple. I am your friend. I am not you family members. Therefore I am not obligated to accept or agree or tolerate your not so polite atti...

Before I even realized, it's already December 2015. Two more weeks to Christmas and three more weeks to a brand new year. What happened during this whole year? I don't remember... Recently, I've been really stressed up because of my minor thesis. I didn't get to enter the first batch of proposal exam. My draft still not very good, hanging there nothing more I can do. Friends went back to Malaysia and every now and then I feel like crying because I wanna go home too. The feeling when you see your friends are going home because they settled their stuff sucks, like seriously. They get two weeks of holiday, which I envied a lot. But what can I do. I'm not done with my proposal, do I even have the reason to go home. I really miss home. I wanna get away from this place, just for a little while. Because I'm so desperate to go home. I bought myself an air ticket to go back on 22nd. Yayyys! My hope is that 28-30th will be free but some asshole just decided to spoil...

I was pissed. I scolded him. And I felt guilty few hours later. What kind of shit is this? Sigh. Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I overreacted. But I know if I don't correct him now, one fine day I will explode again. Might as well just tell him what I disliked so that he wouldn't do it again :/ Yea la I'm such an asshole girlfriend. He probably had no idea what was the reason. He just knew that I was mad. Anyway, luckily everything is fine again phew~ I'm trying my best not to argue in this relationship. Oh wells, hopefully we will stay sweet as long as possible. I love him, he loves me. We are happy familyyyyy~~~

It has been two weeks since we're together. I'm still in the process of adapting. Clearly, accepting a new person into your life is not an easy thing. Maybe because I'm so used to being single, doing things alone that kind of thing. Currently, I'm having mixed emotions. I liked him. I really do but now that I've got him, I feel like going back to the days where we're 'just friends'. Aaahhhh I know you wanna slap me. Please tell me it's my hormone problem lol. In the past two weeks, everyday I asked myself did I do the right thing, is it too quick bla bla bla. I'm not the kind of person who looks for short termed relationships. I take this kind of thing seriously. So, it really bothers me a lot whether I've made the right choice or not. Sigh. I know he will treat me really good. Cause I can feel that he really cared about me. Maybe I should try harder. Try harder to adapt to this new life with you. "Maybe I'm not ready but I...

I'm seriously so sick with emotional guys. What is wrong with you? I know you don't have to explain what is wrong to me. But you just don't have to show the emotional side of you. I don't care how you see me, what you think of me ANYMORE because I'm done with you. I just hope you can handle your emotions next time. Have you ever thought your emotions can affect the people around you? Yes, you don't give a damn but other people do give a damn. It seems my sadness has turned into anger. I'm so tired. When everything seems perfect, something has to happen to destroy all the happiness and joy. Maybe my expectation was too high. I'm sorry. Sorry for expecting so much. I shall now put a FULLSTOP to all these rubbish that is happening to me. EXPELL negative people from my life.