Maybe I need a break

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Don't I have the right to be alone? Don't I have the right to reject? Am I your puppet or what? To be frank, right now at this very moment I just feel like giving up on this relationship. I should be happy in a relationship. Not being pathetic and let you haunt me most of the time. I deserved to be loved and be respected. All you do every time you're not happy about something I did, you just fucking ignored me and expect me to realize the mistake I did, when the truth is I don't think I did anything wrong. 

Why did I reject not going to your place? Because I wanna be alone. I wanna be alone to clear my mind and most importantly, to heal myself after so much bullshits happened to me for the past few months. You think it's easy? You will never understand what I've been through and why I'm so upset about me because YOU ARE NOT ME. You're pissed because I rather lock myself up and not going to your place to accompany. You think I'm pessimistic. Yes I am. I don't usually think of the bright side. That's who I am, you should have knew it. So why can't you just respect me, respect my decision. Let's me be who I want to be and never judge me. This is a very basic rule in relationships. Clearly, you don't even think that you're wrong. I'm really sick of it. I'm sick of you always thinking you're right. I'm sick of you always making me feel guilty when I'm not even the one that was wrong. 

You might not know about this, you made me cried a lot. You made my heart broken for so many times. But I never tell you because they said we should tolerate each other in a relationship. I just let it be and I never talk about it. You know why I never talk about it? This brings back to what I said earlier: You will make me feel guilty when I'm the one who is supposed to be angry. Do you see the problem in our relationship? 

I don't know how long I can take this. Even though sometimes we get over the fight really quickly, but that doesn't mean it never happened. Every fight we got into leave scars in my heart. People get tired. One day I'll be tired. Would you please love me a lil more and appreciate me a lil more? Don't force me to do things that I'm not happy doing. I hate it when you make me do something that I'm not even happy doing it. I'm doing it because I don't want you to be mad at me. 

God, please show me the way. How should I overcome this obstacle in my relationship? 

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