I blog my life

Hello December 2018! Why do you fly so fast, time? It feels like yesterday that I just stepped into 2018 and now its already the last month of the year. Its December and I'm still stuck here in Bandung. I really missed home. I wanna go home and celebrate Christmas and New Year with my family. Oh well, I don't really celebrate Christmas but I just missed those gatherings that my family will do on New Year's Eve. I've missed so many years of New Year's Eve gathering and I don't know why this year particularly I just feel so saddened by the fact that I'm not going home for New Year. Maybe my heart is really tired. I'm conscious that I'm doing this for my future, for the job that I wanted but sometimes I'm really exhausted. Emotionally exhausted I would say. I always have this thought of putting everything aside and just leave this place for awhile and come back again when I'm fully replenished. I wish I'm carefree enough to do that.  No

I've got the feeling that everything is coming to an end soon. But the mischevious side of me can't wait for the end to come. Can't blame me, 6 years of time is not a short period of time. I came to Bandung when I was 19. I am 25 this year, turning 26 in 8 months time? I can say that my youth has been given to the university. From a childish, always seeking for attention girl to now a young woman, I feel that many of my life changes happened here. From single to getting a boyfriend, it happened here. From a person who can't let go of anything to a person who understands the meaning of 'everything happens for a reason'. Life has taught me so many things in these 6 years time. People always say that growing up is an intimidating process, can't deny it especially when I notice the growth within myself. I can confidently tell people that I'm no longer the same person as I was when I just came here. I witnessed the mental and emotion growth in myself.  A

I am so close to where I wanna be yet it feels so far. I know I've came a long way, right now I just have to keep moving forward without worrying because I'm almost there. Talk is easy. Because 'almost' is unmeasurable. I can't predict what will happen tomorrow and this is killing me every single day. I blame the hormones because negativity hits me real hard when I'm emotionally unstable. Right now I miss home so much. I just wanna leave this place. Can I just put aside everything for awhile and go for a trip and have some good times? Can I? Another thing that bothers me so much right now is human. Ok, I'm a human so I know I don't have the right to judge another human being. BUT humans do scare me sometimes. Especially when they are so desperate for something. Maybe its for survival, I don't know but I don't feel comfortable to be with people like this. Anyways, not important because once I leave this place I'm not gonna see them anymore u