Nobody says its gonna be easy, but will it be worth it?

Ever since I entered clinical year, almost every week I will be emotionally unstable. Every single time when I'm feeling down, I feel like crying and give up. Road to becoming a dentist isn't easy. But is it hard because I'm incapable of coping with the studies or because I'm not good at practicals? The answer is no. Life as a Dental Co-assisstant in FKG Unpad is like hell because we're provided with very low standard facilities, we got scolded like a dog, we waited for the lecturers for few hours and nothing is done and the 'best' part is putting aside our pride to beg patients to let us treat so that we can fulfill our requirements. One good thing about this University is that our requirements are double of the requirements of other dental schools. Because we do double so we're more 'chio' ma... Studying and practicing here allow us to see all sorts of dental cases, some that we might not be able to see when we go back to Malaysia because the OHI of the people here are sooooo bad like omg..... Experience wise, I would definitely give my Faculty a thumbs up because we see so many conditions  that other dental students don't see frequently. Periapical abscess, we see them all the time. Simply get one uncle from roadside also got abscess haha! After so many months working as a Dental Co-Ass, I already got used to the facilities here. No suction no problem! Lecturers on-duty lazy don't want to come, fine. I'll just ask the patient to come again. Today, I've encountered a situation that is so disheartening. Well, I sort of told my friends that I feel so humiliated. Here we don't have walk in patients. We have to find our own patients. "How?", you asked. "Go outside simply walk then simply ask lo". I can tell you, to survive here we cannot have pride. You want patients you have to put aside your dignity and go ask whoever you see on the road. Uncle, aunty or kids. So, one day I was walking around the place I staying. I met this young mother of three children. I asked her whether she'll let me treat her son, I told her I am a Dental Co-Ass. She said yes, we exchanged phone number. Few days later I brought his son to the clinic for check-up. This kid has a very bad OHI. Can you imagine a 9 y/o kid, his permanent molar just erupted and it already has a profound caries on that tooth, if I'm not mistaken the tooth is not vital anymore. Five deciduous teeth that need to be extracted and Four deciduous teeth that need to be filled. Fyi, here we usually pay for the treatment so that the patients will be motivated to come. And this particular pediatric patient I already planned to pay for all his treatment as long as he's cooperative and will come every time I ask him to. I even told her mom that you kid's teeth have many problems and need to be treated and her mother said okay. I told her to come with her son so that he won't be so anxious. But after so many times trying to make her come, yesterday she told me to go get her son from the house because she's working and she has no time to bring her son to the clinic. I was like, okay why not? So I went to her house with an informed consent for the kid's father to sign. Jeng jeng jeng, climax coming! This is when I got humiliated. I gave him the informed consent, I told him if he's willing to let me treat his son please sign the informed consent. After reading it, he asked me "So my son let you treat will have risks? And if anything happens I cannot claim anything from you ah?". Then I told him that the risks of dental treatment is so little so you don't have to worry. The he replied "But here says cannot claim anything leh, how am I suppose to let you treat my son if got anything happen you cannot pay back to me". He then said I think you don't extract my son's teeth la, so risky. Because I told him I will do extraction first. Then I said, "If you don't want me to extract then its okay maybe I can do filling for him? Cause he has a few teeth that need to be restored". "But, is my son willing to let you do the filling?". "If he doesn't want to I won't force him but I can try if you allow me to". "Hmm, I also his parent, I think I don't agree that you treat my son. I think my son's teeth no problem, why do you wanna extract and restore. Later you worsen his condition how?". "From a dentist's perspective, if a tooth already cannot be restored must be extracted to prevent infection next time". "Last time you bring him go check up only never mind la but I think if need to do treatment I think better don't". And so I left his house. I got rejected by my patient even before I start treating him because his father thinks that I will only worsen his son's condition. I cannot say that I'm doing this without expecting anything in return. Yes, I'm doing this for my requirements at the same time I'm trying to help you to give your son a good oral health. What did I get in return? I was humiliated because you think your son has no problem but the truth is his oral hygiene. Dear father of patient XXX, you are totally hopeless. As a parent, you don't care for your own kid's oral health. As a normal person, you seriously have some attitude problem. If you wanna decline treatment just kindly say my son doesn't wanna be treated he's not ready. Your act only let me think that you're actually asking money from me because you know Dental Co-Ass can be exploited easily because we need requirements. From what happened today, I can only conclude that the father is trying make me pay him $$ only he let me treat his son. How should I describe people like you? Illiterate? Sorry to say that you won't get a single cent from me. I'm gonna pray everyday, pray that your son will get massive toothache and swollen cheeks one day because you refused to let me treat your son because I wouldn't pay you money. I hope when your son is sick and you've got no money to pay for his treatment. I want you to call me back one day saying you need my help and at that time I will tell you straight to your face "You said I'm gonna worsen your kid's condition so I won't treat him. You get someone else to treat him". People like you should be treated like assholes because when other people offer to help you and be kind to you, you think people owe you and you ask for more. Don't worry, one day your son will get dental abscess I assure you. Since you think his oral health is completely fine, I wish you best of luck. And I wish you'll be humiliated the same way you humiliate me. End of today's exciting and thrilling story! Before I sign off, I still wanna say abit more. I think I'm getting more and more depressed because every week I see my friends so busy but I can only stare into blank space because I don't have patients. I don't have pediatric patients right now, after I lost the one I mentioned above. Sigh, thug life. God, can you please show me a way to get a lot of patients? Desperately need patients now haihhhh.