I blog my life

One more month and I can finally go home again for my third sem break!!!!! I love how time flies when I'm here haha. But before I can go home, have to go through exams and socca sighhhhhh. Seriously why they don't banish socca? It's so disgusting ughhhhh. Anyway, I know I'll be fine. I just don't like the stress,  the insomnia that I have to experience during socca period. C'mon let me get through all these stuff ASAP so that I can leave earlier T.T Another reason why I'm dying to go home is because I really need to take a break. Not from studies but from the people here. Sometimes, I rather do stuff alone because I don't like the 'attachment'. I know it's very selfish of me to think this way because at some point of life, we still need friends. I'm not saying I don't need people to accompany me. What I mean is that I need my personal space. I mean, we don't have to do stuff together like ALL THE TIME right? I don't wanna shoo...

From a total stranger to classmate. And from classmate, you became a close friend of mine. Never thought we are going to be so close like now but it's sad to say, you're leaving tomorrow. People say when two person can become friends it's call fate. But when we can get along so well, it means we are people of the same thoughts. We have the same frequency in thinking. I wish I could make you stay and complete our degree together. But I know you'll be happier if you leave. Frankly speaking, if I can leave I think I would have do the same thing because of the shitty systems and some shitty people. I'm happy for you seriously. No more dramas and all. Best of luck in your future undertakings and I know you'll be very happy in Taiwan. I will update about our situations here. Please stay tuned for more epic dramas. You will be missed.

I'm waiting for one day, when both of you will be alone till the end. Don't blame others. Blame yourself. You guys pushed people away, with that shitty attitude of yours. And.. You will pay for what you did to me and Boon today. You will pay. Oh ya. I'm so glad you told me my thoughts are like a xiao mei mei. So glad you didn't kira with me because I'm a xiao mei mei. So glad you came and correct the both of us. Cause we are two ignorant kids. Oh but I forget to tell you, empty kettle makes the most noise. You're so noisy so are you empty? Thank you for underestimating the entire class. The whole class are just a bunch of idiots to you right? How come they are so stupid? Well, I just have to say both of you not very smart because you need a bunch of stupid people to make you look smarter right? Oi why don't thank us? lol Step people's head to get higher, you wait for karma la. And I wish the best of luck for the both of you. Because very soo...

Moms are always like that right, they never praise their own kids no matter how great they are. But deep inside, they actually feel so proud of their kids. Yea, typical chinese moms. My momzie also a very typical chinese mother, but I still love her no matter what. She taught me to be humble, never over- confident. Even though sometimes I hate how she made me feel so small and useless, but I understand all her effort. She want me to be a humble person. Don't have to tell the world how great you are because the people that know you will know how great you are. Alright, makes sense. She keep reminding me not to do this and that and study hard. And everytime she said that I've to convince her that I will be good and I will study hard. Sometimes in my heart I'll be like, aaahhhh you don't have to tell me that all the time. I will study hard.  I know I shouldn't be complaining or what. Because only moms will do that. Be grateful that I still have a mom to nag me all t...

Friends, kawan-kawan, peng you.... What are friends? I thought friends should make us happy. But why are we avoiding each other. Why are we keeping our distance? Well, I wrote all these not because I care. Maybe you'll say I care because if I don't care I won't even write all these.. ughh whatever okay. I just feel that I need to express my feelings. I don't favour both of you. I'm not afraid to tell the world that I memang different channel with the both of you. At first I thought it's my problem lar, I dislike the both of you so I'll just stay away from you all. But now, it seems like one group of us are actually keeping the distance. It's no longer a one man war. And this is what actually makes me feel uncomfortable. Even if I don't favour the two of them, I never want to see things like these. Now that the gap is so obvious, I don't know how long we can stand. I'm afraid one day, I will no longer call the both of you as FRIENDS. No, we...

I thought when I socialize less, I will get less shits. Already locked myself in the room all the time, yet I still get shits. Seriously, you eff-ing crazy or lack of attention? Is that one of your way to get attention? Congrats you succeededt. You got my eff-ing attention and I also saw your true colours. Big round of applause for you. No one told you small kids are nice. You're older and I thought you can think a teenie weenie bit wiser than me. Hey, if people around you are trying so hard to polish your shoes and ass, sorry I'm not one of them. I'm not here to impress you. And yea, I never put a knife on your neck and force you to talk to me! SO DON'T FUCKING TELL ME TALKING TO ME IS SO DEMOTIVATING. Did I beg you to talk to me? No. God sent me to earth to talk nice nice to you? Fucking no. So get lost and don't ever judge how I talk and how I think. I'm negative, my problem. Does it bother you? Obviously no. If it does, you're probably a worm in my ass. ...

I can't buy your love Don't even wanna try. Sometimes the truth won't make you happy, Still I'm not gonna lie. But don't ever question if my heart beats only for you, it beats only for you. I know i'm far from perfect, Nothin' like your entourage. I can't grant you any wishes, I won't promise you the stars. But don't ever question if my heart beats only for you, it beats only for you. Cause when you've given up, When no matter what you do it's never good enough. When you never thought that it could ever get this tough, Thats when you feel my kind of love. So addicted to this song I don't know why. Maybe because the lyrics explain my feelings.  And everyone says He'll find you if he wants to. If he doesn't, clearly he's not interested.  I can't deny because I have to agree with this fact. My heart feels so sour but not till a point where I wanna cry. I just felt the t...

Sometimes we have to understand that when it is not meant to be, no matter how hard we tried the result will still be the same. I wanted to be positive but my heart beats fast whenever I talked to you and I feel so upset because it was kinda obvious I was doing all the talking and all you did was reply to what I asked with no intention of continuing the conversation. For God's sake, I just wanna get to know you better. And perhaps if the progress is good, we can be good friends. I know it is very silly of me to get upset because of such matter because I don't even know him. I just know he's my senior, that's all. I don't even know his personality, what he liked, his stories all. I know nothing about him. I was too confident. I thought you would continue the conversation once I started it but you didn't. Yes they were right, you're a nice person because you did not ignore me zzzz I guess that is very nice of you. If for some mean people, they won't even b...

Finally the 8days6nights trip is over. Alright, I sounded relieved because the trip wasn't as good as what I've expected. It's summer in China now. Imagine the heat. Everyday I sweat like don't know what and walked don't know how many million miles. Didn't lose any weight because everyday makan, sit bus, makan again.  Anyways, I'm glad that I finally made it to the site of the Terra-Cota army. Apparently, there is nothing else there except for thousands of soldiers made of clay/mud/stone, I don't know. Kind of boring but it's worth seeing. Who knows when,  these armies are no longer available or what, at least I have seen them.  According to the local tour guide, these soldiers you're seeing in the picture are the ones that have been repaired. When they were first excavated, they were all broken pieces, all mixed up. You won't know which is head and which is the limb. The professionals took few years to complete one soldier. Another i...

46days!!!!! Only left 46days and I can finally go home and officially complete my first year. AAAAHHHHH time flies. Happy happy happy happy... Recently I'm quite good. 'It' is not bothering me anymore. I don't give a single damn now seriously. Time to move on and start looking for a better one. I have been single for erm 1year9months? Hahaha. I admit lar sometimes a lil bit desperate cause of loneliness but sometimes the thought of committing freaks me out. So yea, really depends on my mood. So dear God, when is he coming? Soon? Or never? Hahaha. Ehhhh cute guy why you no come talk to me??? Hahaha. Will you talk to me in the future? Yes or No? Will we be friends? Can I get to know you? :) Anyway, you'll come talk to me first HAHAHA. Confident sial zzz Last but not least, popi popi my results cantek cantek. Hahaha. Will update blog again soon!

Lessons in life: 1. Do not compare because by comparing, you're going nowhere. Comparing won't make you any better. Do your best in every single thing you do. Whatever you're doing, you're doing it for yourself, not others. 2. Why bother what others said? They wanna boast, they wanna talk bad about you, let them. Always remember to be humble cause "empty kettle makes the most noise". 3. What goes around comes around. Be true to yourself, don't cheat, don't boast, don't do WHATEVER SHIT that you don't want others to do to you. 4. Take things easy . Why bother? It's not even your problem. 5. Don't look back to your past! Just keep moving forward. What happened cannot be changed anymore but you certainly can change the future. 6. This world is unfair , everyone knows. If you're wondering, why some people get what they desired and you get nothing. God is fair. HE certainly has gave you something that others don't have.

I guess I abandoned my blog long enough. Should update my recent life just in case any of my friends want to read lol. Anyways, just a short one. 1. It has been 2 months since I came back from Malaysia. Everyday is like a war to me. Especially when we have lab practical. Wire, dental waxes, gypsum bla bla bla. I kinda of like this semester's subjects. They said time flies faster when you're busy. I'm going home again in 3 months time. 2. Recently started talking back with an old friend. Really old friend. It was kind of shocking when he first approach me. I thought I already lost this friend of mine. But I'm glad that we became friends again. 3. I'm having a conflict of emotions recently. Damn confused with my thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I feel jealous, sometimes I don't give a damn. At the same time, I'm worried as well. I know things won't always go the way we want. No matter what's gonna happen in the future, I must take it. But I beli...

I'm back in Jatinangor again! CNY break was so short yet so good. It feels like yesterday that I just stepped into Uni but now I'm in Sem2 already. Told myself that I will fight for Sem2. I'm trying my best. I changed lol. I take the initiative to study. I studed till midnight. But whether I can win this battle or not, no one knows. I'm anticipating but yet, so worried. Eventhough Uni results won't decide whether I'm a good dentist or not. But if I don't do well, I can't even graduate. What's more becoming a dentist? Life is like that. Full of challenges. 2.92. I was so closeeeee. Just a lil more. If I can get at least 3.5 in sem2, I'm satisfied. I can do it I can do it!!!!! Hwaiting hwaiting hwaiting till the ENDDDDDDDD. WATCH ME SHINEEEEE!!! I swear I'll go home happily after this sem. (Y) Nightsssss.

5 more days and I'm going back to Bandung. Sighhhh. It's not that I don't like Bandung. It's just that I love my home more. 25 days of break isn't enough but I must be grateful cause not all students studying abroad get to come home so often and friends from other faculty, they only have 10 days break. One semester is down and nine more to go. Now 5 years don't sound that long to me anymore. I promise myself that today I'll do better than yesterday and tomorrow I'll do better than today. Don't give up!!!!! Huilin, your target is finish the course in 5 years and become an established dentist. Don't stop believing...

I might not be the best right now but one day, I'll be the best among rest. Yes, I'm always the lucky one. Have faith in myself and don't give up! I will be an established dentist next time! Believe, believe and believe. Don't stop believing...

Home is the place where I belong. I'm homeeeeee!!!!!!! Survived the first semester. Nine more to go. Oh wells results were satisfactory only. Perhaps A's are not that important. Most important is that I can graduate in 5 years time. Gratitude gratitude~ I promise I'll work harder the next semester! Obviously this semester break, I'm gonna keep eating and eating. Eat all the good food before I go back to Bandung. Malaysian cuisine always the best I can say. Don't ask me how Indonesian food taste like. Nothing compared to Malaysian food. Hahah. I shall spend all my time going everywhere, visit friends and start helping mom to prepare for CNY. It has been so long since I last celebrated CNY at home. Aaaahhhhhh excited shit! =3

Your heart is in vacant but I'm not the one moving in.. </3 Sad but true..

Things cleared. I get the answer I wanted. No I'm not giving up or anything. My plan now is to watch and see what's going to happen. If I tell you I'm alright, obviously I'm lying. It hurts but the pain is still uhm..tolerable? Kay I did ask everyone why I'm not his target, why I'm not his first choice, why I'm NOTHING compared to an Indonesian girl. Just a waste of time right? Like what I said, I shall just stand aside and watch. Like what Mr.Lo said, if he failed to get that girl, he might come back to you but if he succeeded, just wish him best of luck and let him go. Very well said. Thank God my semester break is here. A very good time to leave this place for a lil while and get some peace. At least I'm quite positive I won't think about this matter when I'm back in Ipoh hanging out with all my friends. So, I'll use this break to breathe, think deeply and of course to recover. My friend said, only fall in love with someone who is al...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! This is the first New Year in Bandung. Four more to go before I can celebrate New Year in Malaysia, again... For year 2013, I set myself a few resolutions. Hahah hope it works though. I hope year 2013 will be a good year for my family and friends and also myself. Most important is, healthy throughout the whole year and everything goes on smoothly and so. Nothing much I ask for in this year. I just hope that I'll be happy, stress-free, and all the good things lar hahah. If you ask me, will I get into any relationship in this year, I don't know. Still I'll say, "I believe in Fate". Hahah. Anyway cheers! Good year for you, you and YOU! Lots of love from Bandung... <3