Don't I have the right to be alone? Don't I have the right to reject? Am I your puppet or what? To be frank, right now at this very moment I just feel like giving up on this relationship. I should be happy in a relationship. Not being pathetic and let you haunt me most of the time. I deserved to be loved and be respected. All you do every time you're not happy about something I did, you just fucking ignored me and expect me to realize the mistake I did, when the truth is I don't think I did anything wrong. Why did I reject not going to your place? Because I wanna be alone. I wanna be alone to clear my mind and most importantly, to heal myself after so much bullshits happened to me for the past few months. You think it's easy? You will never understand what I've been through and why I'm so upset about me because YOU ARE NOT ME. You're pissed because I rather lock myself up and not going to your place to accompany. You think I'm pessimistic. Yes ...
Not sure where to start, but I'm pretty sure this is the first time I write a post about what I do daily. Today is the first time that I broke an endo file inside my patient's root canal. I know we're trained to be able to handle emergencies like this but to be honest, my heart just shattered into millions of pieces. I can't help but to blame myself for making such mistakes. In a more optimistic way, this is part of learning process. I think maybe the next time if such case happen again in my own practice maybe I'll handle it more nicely than today. My friends keep telling me that I should just keep quiet and proceed as if nothing happened but of course its very unethical. At that moment I feel that confessing my mistake is the right thing to do so I reported the situation to my supervisor. So glad that she is super nice and helpful because instead of scolding me for making such stupid mistake she actually tried to find ways to help me by contacting the reside...
Here comes the week of the month, when nothing goes right. The week of the month when every single thing pisses you off. Thank you PMS. You make me feel like crying every single moment when I think of 'that' thing. I'm trying not to talk about it because the boyfie said you don't have to repeat what you're not happy about. So yea, I'm so not going to talk about the current issue that is bothering me so much. I shall just relax and enjoy my two weeks holiday. It doesn't make any differences right whether it is next week or the week after next week. I have came a long way, waited since last year August, one or two weeks doesn't matter to me anymore. But I never stop questioning whether equality still exists or not. Two groups of people paying the same amount of money but one of them gets extra three months to work on their requirements. People always say that everything happens for a reason and up till now I still can't see the reason. What privileges...
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