Don't I have the right to be alone? Don't I have the right to reject? Am I your puppet or what? To be frank, right now at this very moment I just feel like giving up on this relationship. I should be happy in a relationship. Not being pathetic and let you haunt me most of the time. I deserved to be loved and be respected. All you do every time you're not happy about something I did, you just fucking ignored me and expect me to realize the mistake I did, when the truth is I don't think I did anything wrong. Why did I reject not going to your place? Because I wanna be alone. I wanna be alone to clear my mind and most importantly, to heal myself after so much bullshits happened to me for the past few months. You think it's easy? You will never understand what I've been through and why I'm so upset about me because YOU ARE NOT ME. You're pissed because I rather lock myself up and not going to your place to accompany. You think I'm pessimistic. Yes ...
Not sure where to start, but I'm pretty sure this is the first time I write a post about what I do daily. Today is the first time that I broke an endo file inside my patient's root canal. I know we're trained to be able to handle emergencies like this but to be honest, my heart just shattered into millions of pieces. I can't help but to blame myself for making such mistakes. In a more optimistic way, this is part of learning process. I think maybe the next time if such case happen again in my own practice maybe I'll handle it more nicely than today. My friends keep telling me that I should just keep quiet and proceed as if nothing happened but of course its very unethical. At that moment I feel that confessing my mistake is the right thing to do so I reported the situation to my supervisor. So glad that she is super nice and helpful because instead of scolding me for making such stupid mistake she actually tried to find ways to help me by contacting the reside...
Here I am, writing again. I just realized that I always write when I'm at the lowest point of my life. Maybe because no one understands me or I can't talk to anyone about it. And I've come to a point where I feel that talking to people about my problems wouldn't help. Because I will still be upset even after talking to people about it. So, why bother talking it out? Time flies . Without myself noticing, I've been a Dental Co-Assistant for almost a year. Everything happens so quickly and soon it will come to a time where I'll have to send my boyfriend back to Malaysia because he is almost done with this clinical year shits. Why do I call shits? Because this place sucks. The facilities suck, the people here suck. I'm definitely proud of him for getting through this phase and I'm very much happy for him. After so many years of struggles, finally he could put a full stop to the life here. But some part of me isn't very happy because I know the day wh...
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